Ready for Some Football

Fall brings with it some great things: cooler weather, pumpkin spice lattes, nice foliage, and football. But mostly football.

As a native of Los Angeles, I think not having an NFL team (the Raiders and Rams don't count because (A) they're not in LA anymore; and (2) they moved back to their original cities, raising doubts as to whether they were ever really LA's teams) has somewhat dampened my enthusiasm for pro football. While I do what every casual LA football fan does and follow USC/UCLA on Saturdays, I've decided that I want to start watching football on Sundays, and root for a team while I'm at it.

Here are five teams that have made the final cut in the competition for my fanhood. Additional suggestions welcome. Fantasy rooting interests not welcome.

San Francisco 49ers

I was raised a Niners fan back in the day. An uncle who used to live in San Francisco got me into sports and since they were his favorite team, I just assumed they should be my favorite team. And what an illustrious team it is: winners of five Super Bowls, associated with arguably the two greatest players in the history of the game, and pioneers of the West Coast offense that is so prominent in the modern game.

Jerry Rice and Joe Montana. Two of the greats.

Of course, looking back on things only makes the current Niners team seem that much more pathetic. Unbelievably mediocre coaches. Outdated stadium. And Alex Smith?? Really?! This is from ESPN.com's Bill Simmons' latest column:

Ways to tell that Alex Smith is your quarterback:

1. Zips passes 80 mph at receivers five yards away.
2. Instead of running three yards for the first down when he has a clear path, throws it to receivers at point blank range who aren't expecting it.
3. Runs in the direction of the pressure.
4. Executes play-fake perfectly on fourth-and-1 at the goal line only to overthrow the wide-open fullback.
5. Gleefully checks down to his backs on third-and-20.
6. Every deep ball thrown has the expected completion percentage of a Hail Mary.
7. Starts sprinting towards the sideline even when the pocket protection is perfect.

Nice. Go Niners.

Philadelphia Eagles

I spent five years of my adult life in the City of Brotherly Love, and during those five years, I watched the city build up and tear down its football team with a passion that was only matched by its commitment to greasy cheesesteaks.

But I've always felt that the Eagles (and former QB Donovan McNabb in particular) got a raw deal. This was a team that was in contention year in and year out, and while they never did get over the hump and bring home a title, they were pretty freakin close for a long time. It's hard to put together two good seasons in a row in the NFL; the Eagles won the NFC East five times in six years (from 2001-2006), averaging almost 11 wins each year.

Also, if there were ever a contest over which NFL head coach most looked like an average person from the city where he coached, doesn't Andy Reid win that thing hands down?

Eagles head coach Andy Reid. Philadelphian.

Awesome. Go Iggles.

New England Patriots

Is having a man-crush on Tom Brady a good enough reason to start rooting for a franchise that I don't particularly like otherwise? Great underdog story (not heavily recruited out of high school, stuck behind a better player at Michigan to the extent that he had to see a sports therapist over concerns about his playing time, sixth-round draft pick, bench warmer for New England, then Super Bowl MVP), team player, hard worker, mechanically perfect QB, three-time champ.

And he's married to Gisele.

If you're one of those who believes in a world of haves and have-nots, which side do you think this guy falls on?

Argh. Go Pats.

Miami Dolphins

I used to like this team when I was a kid for two reasons: (1) I just followed the teams that had good quarterbacks and at the time, Dan Marino was great; and (B) I liked dolphins. You know, the animals.

The posters on my bedroom wall when I was a kid: Ken Griffey Jr., Mike Piazza, and a bottle-nosed dolphin.

Sweet. Go [D]olphins.

San Diego Chargers

By proximity they're the closest team to LA, and they've been playing a pretty exciting brand of football for the past few years. The Chargers kick-started Drew Brees' career, drafted LaDainian Tomlinson and got his prime years, and won a 'roided Shawn Merriman a Defensive Player of the Year Award.

Also, if we are to take Jerry Seinfeld's take on rooting for professional teams and equate it to rooting for clothing, why not pick the team with the coolest looking uniforms?

Best uniform in football, modeled by the douchiest quarterback in football.

Yeahh. Go Bolts.


So which will it be? Tune in next time. I'm sure you're all holding your breath.